Despite the deep cuts affecting the public sector, Death by Health and Safety is determined that the industry's safety standards will not be compromised. The steel industry might have been decimated and coal mining a thing of the past, but at least the UK can take comfort in its thriving health and safety sector. Just imagine what our unemployment figures would be without it.
DBHS, as an equal opportunities employer, is looking for half-witted, under-performing and lethargic people to join its ranks in a number of positions - mostly horizontal, leaving those with high-level skills and qualifications available for roles at Burger King.
So if you've been unable to secure a job as a result of your inadequacies, why not join the team here at DBHS? We're bound to have a project you'd be perfect for.
To apply for any of the posts below, please email your shoe size and a copy of your Grade 2 Nose Picking Certificate to:
FAO Jean Poole, Recruitment Coordinator, Taxidermy Division, DBHS