In bygone times when common sense prevailed, we were just happy to be healthy and safe. But that's not good enough today. So now we have 'health and safety' or 'soddin 'ealth 'n' safety' as it's usually known. Enjoy the benefits.
Now you can -
- embrace mediocrity by achieving very little
- cocoon yourself in a nest of cosmetic fluff
- attend lots of lovely seminars
- pretend that things are getting better
- savour the buzz of high blood pressure
- learn to love 462-page Safety Performance Reports
- commission research into the screamingly obvious
- spin more than Shane Warne
- stiffle progress through process
- marvel at shambolic rules and procedures
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