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Delude Retreat Indemnify Prevaricate Squander

In bygone times when common sense prevailed, we were just happy to be healthy and safe. But that's not good enough today. So now we have 'health and safety' or 'soddin 'ealth 'n' safety' as it's usually known. Enjoy the benefits.

Now you can -

  • embrace mediocrity by achieving very little
  • cocoon yourself in a nest of cosmetic fluff
  • attend lots of lovely seminars
  • pretend that things are getting better
  • savour the buzz of high blood pressure
  • learn to love 462-page Safety Performance Reports
  • commission research into the screamingly obvious
  • spin more than Shane Warne
  • stiffle progress through process
  • marvel at shambolic rules and procedures
  • do battle with dinosaurs
Safety: a way of life

Our commitment to safety is categorically proven by these high-gloss pictures and the fine words which follow.

At 'Death by Health and Safety', we have fully embraced today's corporate culture.
We want to make it clear that...
Safety always comes first. Safety is our number one priority. Nothing is more important than safety.
And we have made it clear by saying it...three times! What more do you want...blood?
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